Known as the grouchy old lady who gives out baked goods

Dear Diary,

Today on my bus ride home I was thinking about what life was going to be like for me when I'm old. I think I started to think about it because I had just seen my babushka (russian for grandma) and decided I don't want to spend my old days sitting at home in a wheelchair slowly losing my memory. In a way I want to have a new begining when I became old, instead of a long sad ending.

When I turn about 60 years old or so I am going to move into a village somewhere where it is always fall, so the leaves will always be pretty. The village will be in the mountains where there are lots of trees, hiking paths and fresh air. There will be plenty of children and families, but not a lot of young single people, therefore not a lot of nightlife. The village will be fairly chill and quite besides the children's laughter and the occasional scream, because a bear got into someones yard.

My house will be small and cozy, with pictures and things of all the places I traveled in my vibrant youth. There will be four rooms a kitchen with a little table in it, a bedroom, a bathroom, with a multitude of amazing soaps, made by yours truly and a small library. The library will have one beaten down brown leather armchair, with a lamp beside it and one hundred books sorted alphabetically. The bedroom will be tidy and small, with a closet, a desk and a full size bed. The kitchen will be bright and have all the kitchen appliances a chef could ever dream of except for big bulky things.

I will be known in town as the grouchy old lady who gives out baked goods, because I will leave a batch of baked goods outside my window every morning for kids to take. I will also be known for the stories I tell about the adventures I had when I was young and the people I met. Every saturday I will take kids in the village hiking through the mountains and show them what poison ivy looks like, and what leaves are good for making tea. I'll spend most of my time hiking, drinking tea, baking, making soap, reading and writing about my adventures from back in the day.

Love,
Nikki

Liza on HAPPINESS.

Dear Diary,
So, I turned fourteen last weekend, and I've been having these rushes of motivation that feel strangely like they're not in my control.  I've been feeling a little forced in terms of all these DIY projects I've been attempting, and in terms of the amount of sitting in front of a screen flashing bright lights I've been doing, but last night, while I climbed onto the roof of my friend's house and sang to the night sky and watched Beyonce do the halftime show and stopped feeling sorry for myself (at least temporarily), I felt fantastic.  I felt like I didn't need to MATTER, or whatever--I felt like I could just do my thing and be surrounded by people I really love and everything would turn out OK, and jeez, that's a fantastic feeling. 
Gotta go do last minute homeworky and pre-valentines day-y shit before bed, and sorry for lack of posting, but yeah.  Illinois is close to legalizing same sex marriage (!!).  There are lots of really great people in the world, and I have the privilege of getting to spend time with some of them.  Even if my happiness is hormonal or whatever, a sudden rush of great vibes only my teen angst and pubertay can control, it still countsforsomething.
Much love,
Liza